A Birthday present
by protozoan13
Summary: It's Konan's Birthday soon, so the rest Akatsuki decide to give her a special present she has never had before... Pairings: KakuHida, SasoDei, Itachi x Nagato, Tobi (Obito) x Kakashi, SasuNaru, Shiro Zetsu x Kuro Zetsu. Contains yaoi (boy x boy) and fluff.


A Birthday present.

(something Konan has never had)

Well, seems like this month's papers are correct...

Kakuzu put the financial documents aside and looked around. By the way, where's Hidan? He usually does his best to be the biggest pain in the ass when Kakuzu is busy with work, even tying him up doesn't help, but today this idiot just left the room without saying something... what did it mean?..

So, Kakuzu went to the corridor, thinking where to find his sweetheart, but the 1st thing he found was not exactly what he was searching for. It was Tobi.

- Ah! Kakuzu! Great you're here!

- Oh, really?..- replied Kakuzu, just to say something.

- I was looking for you. How do you think, is it possible to spend a bit more money from our budget this month?

Tobi's voice under the mask sounded a kind of unsure.

- What for? - it's not that Kakuzu was interested in knowing Tobi's purpose, but he wanted to be sure it's worth spending money.

- Well... you see... it's Konan's Birthday soon... So I thought... She's the only girl in Akatsuki...

- Woman,- corrected Kakuzu.

- Oh... yeah...- now Tobi sounded even confused, - something like this. So, as far as she's the only _woman_ in Akatsuki, I thought maybe we should give her a Birthday present?

- A Birthday present? And what are you going to give her?

- Telling the truth, I'm still not sure... Something not very expensive, but cute. What do you think? Maybe flowers? Or... a kind of a pet? A kitten, a fish in a tank...

- Don't think the fish will like this idea.

- The fish?! - seemed like Tobi didn't understand.

- Kisame. You spoke about him, didn't you. What a strange idea. Don't think it will work out. Kisame is almost 10 years younger... and I'm not sure he likes women at all. By the way, Konan doesn't look like a pet lover. At least it seems to me so.

- Oh...- that was all Tobi could say. Of course he didn't mean Kisame on fish (although the idea itself seemed great).- Then maybe we should just give her some money and let her buy something she wants? How does it sound?

- She will think we could give more. She's a woman after all. They're all the same.

- Then what should I do? I don't have any other idea, and I have never given presents to women! Ah... it's all Hidan's and Deidara's fault!

- Why?- asked Kakuzu with rather indifferent voice, although actually he was really interested for now.

- It was their idea... about the present. They found me about an hour ago and asked what to give Konan as a Birthday present.

- And... what did you say to them?

- Well... That they should give her something she has never had.

It was hard even for Kakuzu to imagine how exactly could such a genious person as Hidan understand this Tobi's statement. Now he really has to find this idiot (or maybe these 2 idiots) as soon as it's possible, while everybody is alive and nothing bad had happened.

- Ok, you just think it over and let me know later. I'll see then, - and Kakuzu left Tobi alone in the corridor, with all those thoughts about flowers, kittens, Kisame in a tank and something Konan has never had...

Heading right to the direction of Deidara's room, Kakuzu suddenly bumped into Sasori almost near the target. Maybe he has already known about the present from Deidara?

- Oh... Sorry... What are you doing here? - a kind of a stupid question, but he has to know.

- Well... Actually, I was looking for Deidara, but seems he's busy with something,- replied Sasori, trying not to look at Kakuzu.

"Isn't it obvious why exactly were you looking for Deidara,"- thought Kakuzu, and then asked:

- Is he in his room?

- Yes...

- Alone?

- Not sure...

- So, Hidan is there too...

- Hidan?!- Sasori sounded surprised.- What are they doing there?

Now Kakuzu heard it himself. All those strange noises from Deidara's room: "Ooohh... it's getting bigger"..., "Yeah... I like this"... and something else, even more confusing.

Kakuzu looked at Sasori with a silent question. Sasori just shrugged his shoulders:

- Sounds like they are doing _this very thing_...

- No... It's not _this very thing_ for sure. But what the hell is going on there?..

...Two genious persons in Deidara's room of course weren't doing _this very thing_. They were _making_ this very thing. More exactly, Deidara was finishing a sculpture of a big dick and Hidan was just looking at it, commenting and laughing.

- You're really fucking gifted, dude. If she doesn't like it, she will be a fucking stinky fool,-said Hidan, staring at the dick sculpture with such a proud look as if he made it himself. By the way, the idea was really his.

- Yeah... It's a gorgeous present! The best and the most original one! Such a cutie, isn't it? - agreed Deidara with a smile.

- By the way, about dicks... How good is Sasori in bed? - asked Hidan with rather usual voice. This topic wasn't really something he could be confused about.

But Deidara didn't feel the same. He had become red in a second, looked down and finally said with a very upset tone:

- Don't know...

- Wha-a-at?!- Hidan jumped up on a chair and nearly fell from it. - You wanna say, you haven't fucked him yet? And he hasn't fucked you too? You must be fucking joking...

- No... It's really so...

- Why? Don't act like a fucking virgin, it sucks!

- But what can I do...

Hidan thought a bit (at least he was silent for some time) and then said:

- I know. You must show this to Sasori,- and he pointed at the dick.

It was the last thing Deidara supposed to hear:

- W-what for?..

- Holy Jashin! What kind of question is it?! Don't you understand? It's a dick, a fucking huge dick, what can it mean? Only one thing, doesn't it?

- Well... maybe... and what to do next?

- Anything, just use your head! Show him you want him. It's easy, just do it. Stay close to him, say something... don't know...

A very loud knock at the door interrupted them.

- What the fuck... Who's that?- asked Hidan (although they were in Deidara's room).

- Kakuzu. What are you doing there?

The expression of Hidan's face had changed so obviously that Deidara suddenly began to understand all that nonsense Hidan had said before. So, this is called to show feelings...

- It's not your fucking business!- shouted Hidan almost happily.

- Open the door or I will kill you,- Kakuzu sounded surprisingly calm.

- Suck my dick,- replied Hidan, smiling widely...

...Kakuzu sighed.

- Stupid kid,- he said quietly and looked at the door. Then - at Sasori:

- Wanna ask me about something?

"Oh yeah,"- thought Sasori,- "I wanna ask you a lot of questions about your relationship with Hidan. How did you both let each other know about your feelings, what was then... and what should I do to Deidara... But... how to ask such embarrassing questions?.." So, all he could say aloud was:

- What's happening? What are they doing there?

- If only I knew... They asked Tobi what to give Konan as a Birthday present. He told them something very stupid and they went here then... I just want to know what are they going to give her. I don't care about Konan herself, but there's Pein always near her. So if she doesn't like the present... what will Pein do, how do you think? Sure, we'll have to find another place to live then... Or just die... at least some of us.

- Oh... I see... And what are you gonna do?- asked Sasori.

- I'll drag Hidan out of Deidara's room, and you'll go inside and look what have they done. Then let me know what it is and we'll think it over.

"To go to Deidara's room? Sounds attractive,"- thought Sasori and agreed.

Kakuzu sighed again and returned to the interrupted lovey-dovey chat with Hidan:

- If you really want me to do it, just get out of there, or I'll change my mind and make you suck your own dick yourself.

Sasori nearly died, hearing such words, so straightly said to somebody, without any embarrassment. Behind the door, Deidara opened his mouth when he heard it. And only Hidan remained the same, without any changes on his face, and his smile became even wider:

- Kakuzu, you old prick, it was you who said it, not me, so just prepare to be my sex slave! - and Hidan opened the door, wishing to see Kakuzu's face in this moment.

That was enough for Kakuzu. He caught the sweetheart with his tentacle threads so Hidan nearly fell, then grabbed his victim and brought to their room. Hidan, who wasn't ready to anything like this, kept silence for some seconds, realizing what had just happened, and then began to shout loudly from Kakuzu's shoulder:

- Hey you, fucking dirty prick, what the fuck are you fucking doing?! I'm not your fucking something, I can walk with my own legs, you old pervert, I...

Kakuzu shut Hidan's mouth up with own hand. Hidan tried to bite it, but useless. They both realized perfectly what will be and what they are going to do when they reach their room, but making some useless noises seemed a kind of fun to Hidan, and Kakuzu just got used to it.

Sasori looked at the show for a couple of minutes and then finally turned to Deidara's door, being almost sure it's closed already. But no. The blonde went out of the room and now stood in the corridor, smiling at Sasori. What to do?..

- Oi, Deidara... I wanted to tell you something...- began Sasori, trying to find at least one suitable topic to talk about in such situation.

- Sasori-no-Danna,- Deidara got closer and took Sasori's hand,- let's go to my room... I wanna show you something...

Hidan could be proud of Deidara if he heard it. But he didn't. He was extremely busy at that moment.

When they reached their room, Kakuzu threw his sweetheart on the bed and, instead of taking off clothes and doing what he promised to, began to ask stupid questions:

- What did you do there?

- Talked to Deidara-chan, what's fucking wrong with this? Are you jealous?

Kakuzu ignored it all and continued asking:

- What else were you doing while talking?

Hidan looked at Kakuzu and then said:

- So, you went to look for me not to make out, but just to know what I did? It's not cute at all, you know. I'm not gonna tell you anything about my deals.

- Then I'll make you tell.

- You'll make me?! What can you do, you fucking old pervert! You can just put your dick into your ass and jump on it! Will you hit me or cut me into pieces? You know, it all is fucking useless!

- So, this is what you're expecting me to do... Ok, then you won't get it for sure,- tentacle threads wrapped around Hidan's wrists and ankles. Hidan had taken off his Akatsuki cloak already and stayed half-naked now - which was very suitable for Kakuzu's plan. He put a tentacle thread into own mouth, licked it and began to stroke Hidan's nipple with it slowly. Hidan went all blushing, arching his back, and tried to free himself out of Kakuzu's threads, but useless. Kakuzu looked at him, licked the tentacle again and repeated all his previous actions to Hidan's another nipple. Stroking his lover softly and tenderly, Kakuzu watched Hidan's reaction. It was really funny to see how hard Hidan was trying not to show how much he liked it all, biting his lips and not looking at Kakuzu. It was seen clearly through his clothes that he had become hard already. Kakuzu bent down and rubbed against this very hard part of Hidan's body with his cheek. Then pulled off his mask and bit Hidan's cock slightly through his pants, stroking it at the same time. Hidan opened his mouth, moaning, and Kakuzu asked, almost whispering, looking at Hidan's face and still stroking him:

- Hope you've opened your mouth to tell me something useful?

- Shut... the... fuck... up...- replied Hidan with a hoarse voice. He's about to come from all these sudden actions, what else could he say?!

- Wrong answer,- whispered Kakuzu in Hidan's ear.- I think I should punish you.

Kakuzu took Hidan's forehead protector and tied it on Hidan's eyes.

- Hey, I can't see anything!- tried to protest Hidan.

Kakuzu began to undress him instead of the answer. But in that very moment when he finished this really important deal, he heard a quiet knock at the door.

How annoying. Not on time at all. But... it can be Sasori with the information about their new problem.

Trying not to make any noise, Kakuzu stood up, put on his mask and went to the door, leaving Hidan on the bed, still tied up, with some tentacles, stroking him tenderly. Being in such condition, the miser won't be able to close the door... but he really hoped to distract Hidan's attention so his sweetheart won't hear anything...

...Of course it was Sasori. With a kind of a strange expression on his usually emotionless face.

- So, what's there?- asked Kakuzu almost inaudible.

The expression of Sasori's face had become even more strange when he understood that Kakuzu wasn't going to close the door. It took some time for him to put himself together and answer Kakuzu's question:

- A dick. A very big dick. Made from Deidara's clay.

- What?..- now the miser's face looked strange too. It was really unexpected, but... a kind of funny... The thing Konan has never had...

- And how does it look?- it was just another stupid question.

- You know... funny...- Sasori had just confirmed Kakuzu's thoughts.

- Oh... Really don't know what to do...- the masked man turned back, looking into the room. At this very moment Hidan asked with a rather loud voice:

- Kakuzu, what the fuck is going on? What are you doing? Are you going to fuck me or not?!

Sasori's eyes became round and Kakuzu, without any sign of confusion, asked:

- A couple of hours will be enough for you? You've left Deidara alone in the room, haven't you?..

So, the miser thought they were going to... oh... Sasori only nodded, he just couldn't find any words to explain the situation the right way... and it seemed useless to him now.

- Ok then, let's meet somewhere here in a couple of hours and discuss what to do. A dick, of all things...- and Kakuzu closed the door.

The 1st Sasori's wish was just to go to own room and to wait there. But... "It's obvious, it's really obvious... What if Deidara decides to do something with the present during this time? What if he decides to give it to Konan right now?"- Sasori stood in the corridor and tried to convince himself that it would be just right to return to Deidara's room now, it's not because he wanted it too much...

Finally, he is near the door. Should he really walk in?..

At this very moment the door opened and Sasori found himself so close to the subject of his thoughts... The subject smiled and asked:

- So, what did Kakuzu say?

- Oh... he liked the idea... At least it seemed to me so. He said it's funny.

- Wow, I knew he'd like this! It's a perfect present, isn't it?

- Well... yeah, a kind of...

- Now you see how cool my art is!

WHA-A-AT?!

- It's just a dick. What kind of art is it at all?- grunted Sasori.

They were in Deidara's room already, and Deidara was still holding his Danna's hand. It was really pleasant, but... a dick isn't an art after all, is it?

- It's not just a dick! It's a present! A perfect present, I must say! Look, you said it's great, and Kakuzu liked it too. So, my art can even bring joy, isn't it cool?

- A bringing-joy-dick... What are you talking about...

- And can your art bring joy? Ah? Sasori-no-Danna?

Suddenly Sasori remembered Kakuzu, with all his tentacles, and Hidan, who seemed to be really glad from all those stuff... A crazy idea appeared in his mind.

Sasori looked at Deidara and smiled. The next moment he put the chakra threads on both Deidara's hands, arms and legs. Then, guiding him to the table, where the bringing-joy-dick was standing, Sasori made the blonde take his cool piece of art in both arms and...

- Now I can make you drop it and break it. Would you like me to do it?

- N-no...- replied Deidara, who seemed not realizing what's happening almost at all.

- I don't want it too,- Sasori made Deidara put the dick back on the table and loosened his chakra threads a bit:

- Are you happy that you didn't break it?

- Yeah...- said Deidara, looking a bit weird at Sasori.

- So, as you can see, my art can bring joy, too.

But seemed like Deidara didn't hear him at all. He stood with his eyes down and his voice sounded strange when he asked:

- Sasori-no-Danna... Make me do something else this way... please...

Sasori's heart jumped up. Do they think about the same thing?

- Ok, but this time I'll make the task more difficult. I've been still putting the chakra threads on you, but for now you'll have more freedom. You'll have to guess what I want you to do, using my chakra threads, and do it. It can be a useful exercise for us both, as far as we're partners.

"C'mon, c'mon, do something,"- thought Sasori, looking at Deidara.

"Kami-samas, any of you, even Hidan's Jashin, please, help me do everything right! I don't want to be rejected..."- thought Deidara at the same time. Then he took a deep breath, went close to his Danna, feeling he's already blushing... and kissed him. Actually, all Deidara did was touching Sasori's lips softly with his own ones, and he really didn't know what to do next, just because it was the 1st kiss in his life... but it felt so good that finally Deidara made up his mind to lick Sasori's lower lip slightly. He definitely wanted more.

Sasori made a strange sound. Deidara looked at him, almost helpless, and asked quietly:

- Is it... what you wanted me to do?..

Sasori just nodded, closing his eyes. This time his mouth was a bit opened. Continue, Deidara, please, just continue...

Kakuzu, almost proud of his lover (he knew Hidan well enough to understand it was his idea about the dick), returned to the room and to his interrupted deal. He took off his Akatsuki cloak and got back to bed, lying close to Hidan, who turned his head to Kakuzu immediately, with even more silly than usually smile, maybe because of the forehead protector on his eyes.

- Hey, where have you been? - asked Hidan.

- It doesn't matter,- replied Kakuzu, getting closer to his sweetheart, stroking his lips with own finger. - So, have you changed your mind? Will you tell me something or not?- yes, he had known it already, but... he liked this game. And seemed like Hidan was enjoying it too:

- Forget about it. I'm not gonna fucking tell you anything,- the zealot tried to bite Kakuzu's finger.

- Well, in this case...- Kakuzu kissed Hidan's neck, leaving a mark on it,- you don't deserve sex for sure.

- Wha-a-at? What the fuck! Wasn't it you who promised to blow me, you old... aaah!- the last Hidan's sound was about Kakuzu's actions.

- I'm old who?- asked Kakuzu, drawing a line with his tongue from Hidan's neck through his chest right to his nipple. Then he licked it and bit it slightly. His arm went down, searching for the proof that Hidan liked it all, and found it rather quickly. Hidan's cock was so hard, hot and wet already that Kakuzu nearly came from just realizing how much Hidan was aroused.

- If you're not going to fuck me, then why are you doing it all?- whispered Hidan with a hoarse voice.

- Just because I like it,- replied Kakuzu, stroking the lover's cock gently.

- Oooh... oooh!- moaned Hidan, grabbing the miser's arm.

- What's wrong?- asked Kakuzu, embracing Hidan with the other arm.

- Can't hold it anymore... I'm...

- No. As far as you haven't told anything, you are not allowed to come,- said Kakuzu and began to tickle Hidan with the tentacle threads.

- Ah! Oh! Fuck! Hey, you! Stop it!

- Oh, I see, you like it really much...

- Shut the fuck up and put your fucking tentacles into your ass! It's not fair!

- Why isn't it? You don't want to tell, I don't want to fuck... everything's fair,- said Kakuzu with an unruffled voice.

- Stop tickling me, you fucking old pervert!

- Ok, then, I'm afraid, I have to go. I've got a lot of deals to do,- Kakuzu stood up from the bed, took his Akatsuki cloak and headed towards the door.

- Hey! Wait! - Hidan's voice stopped him somewhere in the middle of the room.- Ok, I'll tell you! I and Deidara-chan were making a present for Konan on her Birthday.

- Ah, so that's it... What kind of present?

- A dick... Tobi said she would be glad to have something she'd never had... that's all... will you fuck me now?

Kakuzu returned to the bed and took off the forehead protector from Hidan's eyes. Then kissed him tenderly.

- Good boy. But, you know... it's not a secret anymore. Sasori told me about it an hour ago. So, I hope, you have something else which can be interesting for me...

- Interesting for you? Oh yeah, you old pervert, I've got one thing which is really interesting for you... or maybe not even one,- with these words, Hidan jumped on Kakuzu, making him lie down to the bed, rubbing against him with all his body and whispering:

- I want you too much to let you go...

...For how long they had been kissing, Sasori didn't know. It felt so good... and so unusual for him. But it was also the reason why he had lost all his time and space senses. He had never felt something like this before. Well, maybe it's strange for his age. Maybe even Deidara will find it strange. And maybe he should act like a more experienced person... or something like this... but... Deidara kissed him so tenderly, embraced him so tight that he could feel the warmth of the blonde's body, and all his actions... they were so touching that he just couldn't think about anything. "Please, Deidara, just do what you want to me. I'm yours..."

Deidara really wanted to do a lot of things to his adorable Danna, but which exactly things it's supposed to be, he actually didn't know. Yeah, he wants to kiss him, to embrace him, to be as close as possible, to touch him, to take off his clothes and even... yes, he wants this too, from the beginning to the end... but what exactly is he supposed to say and do? Oh yeah, he heard something from Hidan, but it's really impossible for him just to say to Sasori something like "fuck me hard"... he won't be able to do it for sure. Hidan said to show own feelings. And it had worked out. But what should he do next? He doesn't want it all to stop!

Suddenly something changed. Deidara's actions became more unsure and he didn't hold Sasori that tight anymore. The distance between them was a bit longer now so that Sasori couldn't feel Deidara's heartbeats. What's wrong? Sasori opened his eyes and looked at the blonde's face. Everything was written on it so clearly that there was no need in explanations. Seemed like his blonde princess didn't know what to do.

Sasori smiled and stroked Deidara's hair, still embracing him with the other arm. Then pushed him slightly to the bed. Deidara looked up at Sasori and pulled the sleeve of his Akatsuki cloak. Sasori smiled again and sat on the bed near Deidara:

- You want to ask me about something... right?

- Well, yeah...- Deidara blushed.

- So?

- Oh... well... do you... do you like... it all?

Sasori got closer to the blonde, embraced him and whispered in his ear:

- I like everything you do...

... Hidan was trying to take off Kakuzu's clothes, but Kakuzu, understanding it perfectly, lay that very way to make this simple action almost impossible to do. Now all he did was looking at Hidan and having fun. Finally, he asked:

- What are you trying to do?

- Trying to undress you, what else!- Hidan was too busy with the process.

- What for? - the miser tried not to laugh or smile.

- Kakuzu, you old prick, don't ask your stupid fucking questions! Isn't it obvious?!

- Ah, it's about that... Well, you can do what you want, I'm not interested,- replied Kakuzu. Not to laugh, not to laugh...

He knew for sure that Hidan won't leave him alone until he gets what he wants. And he wasn't against, after all. It was just a kind of game - and they both knew it.

- Not interested?- re-asked Hidan.- Ok... I'll show you...

He bent down and kissed Kakuzu. Oh, it always feels so good, it just can't be helped... Hidan moaned quietly when he felt Kakuzu's tongue licking his lips gently. Hearing Hidan's moan, Kakuzu embraced him and began to stroke his back. "It's not good at all... This way I'll come earlier than Kakuzu gets hard,"- thought Hidan, putting his arm into Kakuzu's pants.- "But... oh... he's already hard..." Hidan opened his eyes and looked at Kakuzu. Kissed him gently again and whispered:

- Please... put it in...

Suddenly Kakuzu sat on the bad, making Hidan change his position too. Then he took off his top and said:

- It's easy for you to make me hard with your arms and mouth, isn't it? But what will you do if you can't use them? Ah?

Tentacle threads tied up Hidan's wrists in a second.

- Wait! What are you gonna do?- Hidan looked at his lover. He didn't understand anything at all.

Kakuzu smiled and kissed him tenderly:

- Relax. Nothing special. Just wanna teach you a bit patience.

- Wha-a-at?..

Kakuzu grabbed Hidan, embracing him from behind, and held him tight:

- I want you much more than you think I do. That's why I want everything to last longer.

- Oooh...- that was all Hidan could say. He was about to come just from Kakuzu's words, not to mention his actions.

Kakuzu kissed Hidan's neck, licking it and biting slightly from time to time. He held Hidan tight enough to let him feel he's still hard, but even if Hidan didn't, he had Kakuzu so close to himself that he could feel his breath... and it all made his head spin.

Kakuzu began to stroke the sweetheart's chest. Hidan caught his arm and kissed it's palm, just to show how much he liked it all. Kakuzu stroke his lover's cheek tenderly, kissing his shoulder, then returned to his chest again, found a nipple and squeezed it gently.

Hidan moaned, putting his head back on Kakuzu's shoulder and breathing hard. Oh, it feels so good, he could stay like this forever...

Kakuzu felt the same, but... suddenly he remembered his promise to Sasori to meet him in 2 hours... fuck... they're in a lack of time now!

It's not that the miser cared about making Sasori wait or something like this, actually. But if Sasori (or, even worse, Sasori and Deidara) decide not to wait in the corridor and begin to knock at the door while they have not finished, it won't be good at all... it will be deadly bad. So, he has to do something right now.

Kakuzu loosened the threads on Hidan's wrists. Hidan turned to Kakuzu immediately, embracing him. His hair was in a mess, mouth was a bit opened and he had such an idiotic expression on his face... but Kakuzu found it really sweet. He lay his lover down on the bed and put it in finally...

...What were they doing all this time, thought Sasori, looking at the ceiling. He lay on Deidara's bed, embracing his blond princess, with Deidara's head on his shoulder. Sasori stroked golden hair and tried to think everything over. Actually, they were just kissing, lying on the bed. For so long. And nothing more. But, as far as they were so close to each other, much closer than ever before, it was enough for them for the 1st time. They didn't even take off their clothes. How stupid... Sasori smiled at his thoughts, stroking Deidara's cheek. What was he thinking about, he wondered. But he wouldn't ask, anyway.

Telling the truth, Deidara didn't think about anything special. He still couldn't believe it all had happened. Now, being so close to his Danna, embracing him and feeling his breath, all Deidara wanted was it all to last forever. It doesn't matter even if they don't do anything more for now... although... maybe... maybe...

Deidara took Sasori's hand, rubbed against it with his cheek and tried to put it under his clothes. "Please... I just wanna be even closer to you..."- he thought and suddenly felt that Sasori stroked his back under the clothes. So, he wanted it too?.

What a strange feeling. Deidara's body under his hand was so warm, and it seemed to Sasori that this warmth was moving from Deidara right into his arm and then - to his heart. He really must have gone crazy... or is it called love?..

Oh. It's just Deidara's hand. He had just put it under Sasori's Akatsuki cloak and now stroked his chest. This is where this warmth came from. But... it doesn't matter. It's love for sure...

...Kakuzu sighed and tried to lie Hidan down to the bed from himself carefully. He really didn't want to, but he had to go... he had already been late...

Hidan opened one eye and asked with a sleepy voice:

- Where are you going?

- Just have some deals,- said Kakuzu, stroking his lover's hair.

- No... don't go away...- Hidan pulled Kakuzu back to bed, took his hand, put it under own cheek and closed his eyes happily.

Kakuzu just couldn't resist. He embraced his sweetheart and kissed him tenderly. Hidan made a kind of a glad sound and smiled.

Telling the truth, it was a surprise for Kakuzu when he had realized it 1st time - that Hidan turned out to be very emotional and sensitive... and even sweet sometimes. Kakuzu remembered what Hidan had said recently. They had just finished doing it and now lay on the bed, embracing each other. Kakuzu stroke Hidan's hair, as usual, and suddenly asked:

- By the way... Why did you want me to take off my clothes? It's not necessary to be fully undressed while making out, you know...

- Ah? Oh... It's just... just... mmm...

- Just what?

- I... just... I just like the way you look,- confessed Hidan... and fell asleep.

- Oh, really...- said Kakuzu, looking at his sweetheart. What else could he say?..

Yes, he was on his own during all his life. He had got used to it. He didn't even feel sad about that, thinking it's just normal. And now... Well, he still wasn't sure if it's a blessing or a curse... This annoying religious zealot... this idiot... yeah, he's Kakuzu's sweet boy for sure. It's even funny...

Remembering about the dick again, Kakuzu made himself get out of bed. Well, he will try to do everything quickly...

...Deidara rose up on his elbow, looking at Sasori. They were still in bed, still dressed... but they both felt really good after all that had happened and still couldn't believe it was true.

- Wanna ask me about something?

How did he guess... again... Deidara blushed and looked down. Then - at his Danna:

- Yeah... Kiss me...

- You know... I thought about the same,- Sasori embraced his blond princess, pulling him down, and pressed his lips to Deidara's.

Oh... he has never felt anything like this before. And he still can't get used to it, of course. But... he needs it so much... to feel Deidara close to him forever... Why is it so... Ah, doesn't matter. He just wants it to be.

Sasori opened his eyes, looking at Deidara while kissing him. The blonde's eyes were closed, and the expression of his face was so touching... Sasori bit Deidara's lip gently, Deidara made a really sweet sound...

...And at this very moment somebody knocked the door.

- Hey, Sasori, are you there?

Deidara looked at Sasori and asked quietly:

- What's this?

Oh yeah. Of course Sasori forgot about everything but his princess.

- Mmm... It's Kakuzu, I suppose.

Deidara smiled and said proudly:

- So, he wants to look at my art too!

Then he turned to the door and shouted:

- Yes, we both are here, it's opened!

Sasori looked at Deidara with a very strange expression on his face. What had he just said? "We"? "Both"? oh... no... he will definitely need a lot of time to get used to it...

- Hope you both are dressed,- said Kakuzu and entered the room.

The 1st thing he saw was The Art itself. Really big, it stood proudly on the table. The expression of Kakuzu's face changed so obviously under his mask that Deidara pushed Sasori and whispered in his ear:

- You see! He likes it too! It's a great present, I told you!

The fact that Deidara and Sasori both sat on Deidara's bed, very close to each other, with that very right-from-the-bed look, didn't attract Kakuzu's attention at all. Telling the truth, he'd be much more surprised if he saw them in another condition.

Seemed like the present itself was more interesting for him than a bit confused couple on the bed. He took the dick, examined it and then asked:

- So, what is it supposed to do with... mmm... it?

- To give to Konan, what else!- replied Deidara. Really, what a strange question.

- Why are you so sure she'll be happy to get it?

- Because Tobi said so.

- He said she'd be happy to get something she had never had, right?

- Yeah...

- And it was Hidan's idea - about the dick. Right?

- Yeah... Was it he who told you?

- No. It was just too obvious. That's why I want to be sure Konan will like... mmm... this kind of present...

- Do you care about Konan that much?

- I care about us all, you idiot. Have you ever thought what will be if she doesn't like the present?

- No... What?

- Pein. Don't think he'll like the fact that somebody insulted Konan.

- But we won't insult her! We'll make her happy!

- Maybe yes. But maybe not. We'll have to check it up first.

- To check up what? And how?

- Somebody must ask Pein about Konan. What kind of presents does she like... and so on... Does she have a sense of humour at all...

- Ok, then go and ask. My task was to make a present - and I did it perfectly!

- I definitely have no time on it.

- Let's just ask somebody,- said Sasori. All this time he was just thinking over all that happened between him and Deidara, but now... Kakuzu mentioned he had no time to ask Pein and it could mean that he would suggest him or Deidara to go and ask themselves... but Sasori didn't want to spend so much time on meaningless things... all he wanted now was to stay alone with Deidara again...

- Ask who? Hidan? Tobi?- Deidara looked at Sasori.

- No way,- replied Kakuzu.

- Then?..

- Itachi,- said Sasori, remembering the times when he wanted to invite Deidara to Akatsuki. Itachi really helped then.

- Good idea. I'll go to look for him. Hope he's somewhere near,- Kakuzu put the dick back on the table and turned to the door.

- Will you bring him here?- asked Sasori.

- For sure. He must know what he's gonna talk to Pein about,- replied the miser and left the room.

As soon as Kakuzu went out, Deidara turned to Sasori immediately. Sasori, who watched him all this time, noticed how fast the expression of the blonde's face had changed. While talking to Kakuzu, it was just usual Deidara, with his usual voice and smile, but now he looked so confused and was blushing again, looking in Sasori's eyes and whispering:

- Sasori-no-Danna... please...

Sasori didn't even wait for the end of this phrase. He just kissed Deidara, embracing him with one arm and stroking his hair with the other one. He really hoped Kakuzu will knock at the door again when he returns...

...Itachi was going to go to the kitchen when he saw Kakuzu, turning from around the corner. He was definitely looking for somebody, thought Itachi, closing the door of his room. A second later he heard:

- Itachi! Wait!

Does Kakuzu want to ask about something? Maybe where's Hidan? But he doesn't know...

- Itachi. Look, we need your help.

- My help? And who "we"?

- A lot of. Yes, your help. Do you know that Konan's Birthday will be soon?

- Oh, really? No, I don't. Let me guess. You're gathering money to buy a present for her?

- Almost correct. We have already had a kind of present. But it's... how to say... it's very original and we're not quite sure if Konan likes such things at all or not.

"A very original something? What can it be..."- thought Itachi and then asked:

- But if you have already had the present, then why do you need my help?

- You'll understand everything once you see this present. Let's go.

- Where?

- To Deidara's room. It's there.

Seems like it's useless to say no, thought Itachi, sighed and agreed.

- We want you to ask Pein about what kind of presents does Konan like.

- Ah... That's it...- said Itachi thoughtfully. Well, he really didn't care about Konan and her present, but Pein... This person was very interesting for him. So, he should behave as usual, not to let anybody guess. Oh, by the way, they're almost on spot.

-Here,- said Kakuzu and opened the door.

Of course he didn't knock. And of course Sasori and Deidara were kissing.

As they heard the door opening, they both jumped up on the bed, looking back at the door, but it was too late. Everybody saw them. But... what's wrong? Why it's only Deidara who went all red, and only Sasori, who tried to hide behind Deidara's back, or under the bed, or anywhere else? Neither Kakuzu, nor Itachi showed any emotion at all. They just walked in.

But then Itachi saw the dick.

- What's this?- he asked Kakuzu, pointing at The Art and thinking he has already known the answer.

- The present. Understand now?

- Oh... Yeah... It's... very... mmm... refined...- Itachi wrung the words out of himself finally.- So, what should I do? Just ask Pein if Konan likes dicks or not?..

- How rude,- grunted Kakuzu.

- It's just a joke... Anyway, you know, it was too unexpected. A dick...

- It's not a dick! It's an art! A gorgeous present!- shouted Deidara, who finally put himself together and was almost angry now.

- Hey, calm down,- said Sasori quietly, touching Deidara's shoulder. The blonde felt he's blushing again.

- Yes, really, how are we supposed to call this? The-Great-Art-Of-Dick-Made-By-The-Most-Gifted-Man- In-The-World? Just "dick" is much shorter after all,- noticed Kakuzu.

- Ok, so what should I ask Pein about?- repeated his question Itachi.

- Just ask, if Konan likes... mmm... unusual presents... or presents from boys... act according the circumstances... you're an Akatsuki member, after all!- replied Kakuzu. Telling the truth, he didn't know himself how to ask about such cute presents.

- Oh... all right... and which exactly Pein should I ask? You know, there are at least 6 of them...

Itachi didn't even expect to hear 2 answers at once:

- Just any,- said Sasori, shrugging his shoulders.

- Which you like the most,- said Kakuzu, looking at nowhere.- Let me know his answer then. I'll be in my room,- and he went away. Really, it all takes so much time. Hidan must have woken up already.

Itachi looked at the door, at the dick, at the couple on the bed - and went away too.

- Oh,- sighed Sasori.- They're finally out.

- Yeah... And they saw everything,- noticed Deidara.- Is it ok for you?

- Is it ok for any of us to listen to Kakuzu and Hidan making out every day and night?- replied Sasori.- They don't care about anything at all. And so do I.

- So, is it ok that everybody will know that you and I are... mmm...- Deidara didn't really know what to say, blushing again and looking down.

- Of course it's ok,- Sasori kissed Deidara gently and went to the window. He definitely felt something...

...Near the hidden entrance to the Akatsuki base stood an ugly person. Sasori had never seen this creature before, but it seemed like he could guess where it was from.

- Hey. Looking for somebody?- he asked the unknown person, preparing to fight.

- Yes, kinda of. I've got a present... from my master... for one person...

- And who's your master? Let me guess. It's Orochimaru, isn't it?

- You're right, that's really so. Are you that very person?

- What person? Tell me the name.

- It's written here,- and the ugly creature gave Sasori a piece of paper.

"A present for Sasori"- was written there.

- What kind of present is it?- asked Sasori, finishing all the needed preparations inside his Hiruka puppet.

- Don't know. May I go away?

- Not now. I want to send a gift for your master too, in return.

Yes, everything's ready now. He can begin his brain-washing jutsu. A present from Orochimaru, how nice...

...In a minute everything was over. The ugly person was on Sasori's jutsu and Sasori opened a big box with the present. What can it be...

A harp?! Has Orochimaru gone completely crazy?! No, it can't be just a harp. There must be something wrong with it. He feels it for sure. Something he heard about... long time ago... it was called something like "string jutsu"... Ok, seems like he knows for whom these strings will be suitable...

A familiar voice interrupted Sasori's thoughts:

- Hey. What's it?

Pein? What is he doing here? He must talk to Itachi now, not to walk around the base!

- Ah? Oh, it's a present... for one person,- replied Sasori.- Nothing special.

- A present, huh? Ok, I see,- said Pein and went away. He tended to believe Sasori, just because a harp didn't really look harmful.

Sealing the box, Sasori told the ugly Orochimaru's servant:

- Bring this to Sunagakure. And give it to a woman called Chiyo personally. Then return to Orochimaru and tell him you delivered a present for Sasori. Understand?

- Yes, master,- said the ugly one, took the box and went away.

...Itachi knocked at the Leader's room door for the 3rd time. No, Pein definitely wasn't there. But where then? Where to look for him? He felt a bit nervous before this talk, and of course it wasn't because of the dick for Konan. It was really hard to explain or understand. Pein seemed to be a rather mysterious person, Itachi had a lot of questions about the Leader... and no answers at all. There was something about him... something strange... and Itachi needed to know it. That's why he agreed to talk to Pein so easily. But... where's he now?..

- Itachi? What are you doing here?

Oh, this voice. It's him. So, he must say something.

- Leader-sama, I was looking for you,- replied Itachi, turning around. Of course, it was Deva Pein. Now he could see him.

- What for?

- To ask you about something... It's not about the important things... although it's rather important too...

- What things?

- You see... We know that Konan-san's Birthday will be soon. And we wanted to give her a present... but we're really not sure what does she like. We have some... mmm... ideas... and they all are quite original... that's why I wanted to ask you...

"A present? Seems like I've seen it already. That very harp. Sasori said it was a present... so, it was for Konan? Now I see,"- thought Nagato and said:

- What exactly do you want to know?

"Oh. If you only knew. It's so strange... And not about the present at all,"- Itachi sighed, looking at Pein. But all he said aloud was:

- Well... If a present is very, very original... Something she has never had... and it's a kind of... mmm... art...

- I think I know what you're talking about.

- Oh... really? Have you seen it already?- Itachi sounded a bit surprised.

- Yes, I have, thanks to Sasori.

- I see... So, what do you think of it?

How strange. If they were going to show the dick to Pein anyway, why did they ask him to talk to Leader-sama? Or... maybe he just got to know about it by accident? It all isn't very clear... but anyway... it's a chance for Itachi to talk to Pein.

- It's really very original. And Konan really never had something like this. Of course she won't be able to use it directly, but I think it'll be a good decoration for her room anyway,- Nagato didn't know what else to say. A harp is a harp, it's a good present, why are they so anxious about it?

"To use it directly?"- Itachi was almost shocked. To say such things about the dick and a person with whom you have... a kind of... mmm... wait. Really, what kind of relationship do Pein and Konan have that it lets him say rather insulting things about her? Maybe it's not that simple here?- thought Itachi and asked:

- Do you really think so? Will she understand everything right, how do you think?

- Of course she will. She's an adult woman after all.

- Ok... I see...- Itachi didn't know what else to ask. Pein had already seen the dick, so he knew what he was talking about.- Thanks for answering my questions.

- Is it all?- asked Nagato. He didn't even realize, but he really was waiting for something.

- Oh... Well... May I ask some more?..

- You may... if it doesn't take a lot of time. What do you want to know?

- Oh...- Itachi didn't know how to start.- May I ask, are you and Konan-san a couple... or just close friends? You don't have to reply if you don't want to...

- We've known each other for ages.

"Is it all?! He replied so quickly... and with such kind of voice..."- thought Itachi, looking at Pein. Now he really didn't know what to say.

- And why do you ask? Do you like Konan?- telling the truth, it was unexpected even for Nagato himself - to say something like this aloud. How did it happen...

- Oh... What? N-no... Not at all... I mean, she's great and she knows a lot of jutsu... but... no,- replied Itachi even more quickly than Pein before. How did it turn out to be like this?! Why did he think so? How to let him know that... that...

- I see,- said Pein with his usual voice, looking right at Itachi.- Is it all?

- Well... almost...

- What else?

- Oh... how to say... I noticed... that you... don't eat anything... Is my cooking so bad?..

"Don't eat? Cooking?.."- Nagato almost forgot about such things at all.

- No... It's not bad... I just... have no time on it...

- But you have to! It's not good for your health at all! I'm almost sure, when you're out of the base, you don't eat anything either!

"Out of the base... oh... yes... I'm really out of it,"- thought Nagato. But...

- Even if it's so. It doesn't really matter. What do you want?- he really didn't know if he said it just to say something or on purpose.

Oh. He asked about it himself. And didn't say "let go of me, I'm busy". So...

- If you have a bit time, please, let me make a bento for you! You'll be able to eat it whenever and wherever you want!

A bento?! Nagato hadn't heard this word since his childhood, really... A bento... What could he say... He just nodded. What a strange feeling...

- Just wait for me here, I'll be back soon!- and Itachi disappeared.

Nagato was so confused with it all that he left his Deva Pein standing in the corridor, near the Leader's room. But his thoughts about bento, childhood, food and Itachi were interrupted soon by Tobi:

- Hi, Leader-sama, what are you doing here?

- And you?- asked Nagato almost automatically.

- Oh, really nothing,- replied Tobi. Telling the truth, he was looking for Kakuzu again, to ask if he had any idea about a present for Konan... but how to say it to Pein? He will tell Konan for sure! Although...

- I'm sure, you know, it's Konan-san's Birthday soon...

- Yes, I know, I've already seen the present and even talked to Itachi about it, do you have any other questions?

So, they have already got something to give to Konan. And he doesn't know what it is. He must not to show it before Pein, thought Tobi and said:

- Oh, I see. So, how do you like it? The present, I mean.

- It's good.

- Of course it is!- what can it be... He must find out, as soon as possible. But before:

- And what are you doing here now?

- Listen, you've got nothing else to do?! Enough stupid questions for today!

- Ok, ok, understand! See you later!- and Tobi ran away. Actually, he just hid behind the corner and waited what would happen. Thanks to spiral Zetsu, nobody could see him...

...In some minutes Tobi saw Itachi. He held something very familiar in his arms. A bento box? Was he going to go somewhere?

But Itachi turned the corner and went straight to Pein:

- Sorry for making you wait. Here it is. Look - would you eat this?- and he opened the box. There was some rice, sushi, onigiri and egg rolls.

- Did you cook it all yourself?- Nagato just didn't know what else to say.

- Yes, this morning, everything's fresh. Hope you'll like it...- Itachi looked right into Pein's eyes.

- Oh... Thank you...

- If you like it, just let me know please. I can cook bento for you every day...

- I will,- said Nagato, and Pein went away, holding the bento box in his arms. He must get this box as soon as it's possible...

...- Hey, Kakuzu,- said Hidan, getting close to his lover and embracing him from behind. They both sat on the bed, but one of them was dressed as usual and another one - completely undressed. As usual.

- What?- Kakuzu stroked Hidan's hand.

- Always wanted to ask... What do you have allergy on?

- Allergy?- repeated the miser.

- Yeah. The mask you wear. Isn't it because of allergy? So, what is it on?

- On humans,- replied Kakuzu, then turned to Hidan and kissed him.

Hidan made a sweet sound and pulled Kakuzu back to bed.

- Hey,- he whispered,- let's do it... I'm hard already...

Kakuzu sighed, stroking his sweetheart's cheek:

- Not now...

- Why?

- Itachi will be here soon.

- Itachi? What for?

- He must have talked to Pein. About a present for Konan.

- He talked to Pein about a dick?- smirked Hidan.

- Of course not, you idiot. He just had to ask what kind of presents does Konan like. That's all.

-"Leader-sama, do you know what kind of presents does Konan like?"- "Yes, she likes dicks most of all." How cute!- laughed Hidan.

- Shut up and put something on.

- How can I put something on if I'm still hard?!

- Just do it,- said Kakuzu, getting out of bed and throwing Hidan's clothes to him.

At this very moment they heard a knock at the door.

- Quickly,- fizzed Kakuzu.

- Ok, ok, you look scary!

- Kakuzu, are you there? It's Itachi,- there was a voice behind the door.

- Yes, just wait a second!- replied Kakuzu, putting his mask on and looking at Hidan.

"Of course, it's clear what were they doing,"- thought Itachi.

In some seconds Kakuzu opened the door and Itachi walked in, trying to look as usual after his talk to Pein. But the 1st thing he heard broke all his efforts completely:

- So, does Konan like dicks?

It was Hidan. Sitting on the bed and smiling.

- I told you to shut up!- Kakuzu looked at his lover and turned to Itachi:

- So... what?

- Well, I'm not really sure if Pein is right or not... but he said Konan likes dicks... at least, she'd like to get this kind of present.

- You told him about the dick?- asked Kakuzu suspiciously.

- No, I didn't. He just saw it accidentally in Deidara's room. Sasori showed it to him.

- Sasori showed his dick to Deidara?!- again Hidan, almost laughing, with round stupid eyes.

- Shut the fuck up already,- Kakuzu sounded menacing.

- I think you understand what I meant,- continued Itachi, trying not to laugh.

- I do. So, what did Pein say?

- That she won't be able to use it directly, but it will be a good decoration for her room. This is exactly what he said.

Kakuzu's eyes became almost round. Hidan began to laugh.

- I've never thought our leader has a sense of humour...- said the miser finally.- Well... I suppose that's all for now. We've got a great present for Konan, and it's free after all... Oh, by the way. Any idea how to deliver it to her?

- Aren't we going just to give it to her when she's here?

- N-no... Too risky... Even if Pein said the present was ok, he's not Konan anyway, so all he could is just to guess... He's a man, and men and women are completely different. I think we should send somebody to deliver the dick to Konan's house in Amegakure. And when she tells us - or Pein, it doesn't really matter - that she likes the present, then we will reveal her the secret - that it was from us.

- It's logical,- said Itachi.- So, who will we send?

- It must be somebody Konan doesn't know.

Itachi thought for some seconds:

- Oh... Seems like I know who can do it. I'll try to ask him as soon as it's possible.

- Good. Let me know when it's all done,- said Kakuzu.

- Ok. See you,- and Itachi left the room.

Right behind the door he bumped into Tobi.

The 1st Itachi's thought was that Tobi wanted to see Kakuzu with deals about the Akatsuki budget or something like this. So, he just said "Hi, Tobi" and kept walking. But Tobi's reply made him stop:

- Hey, Itachi. Seems like something's going on and I know nothing about it...

"Is he talking about me and Pein? Doubt that about the dick - he must have known already..."

- What do you mean?- asked Itachi, trying to speak as usual.

- Well, I saw Pein... and he told me something...

"About me?!"- Itachi's heart began to beat faster.

- Then why are you asking me if Pein told you something?

- Because I saw you with him,- Tobi looked at Itachi and thought: "Why is he so nervous... He's trying to hide something, but I can feel it for sure. Maybe he thinks he should keep in secret any information about Konan's present? But I must know about it..." Then he continued:

- Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. I can keep secrets.

- Oh...

- C'mon, I'm ready to listen!

- Was it all so obvious?

- Hey, I'm not a child after all. I saw you and Pein talking to each other and so on...

"And so on?!" What does it mean?! If even Tobi, who just watched their talk from the distance, noticed something, then Pein must have understood everything for sure... But... Maybe Tobi can help... He knows Pein better than anyone else here... So, he must at least try...

And Itachi said, looking down:

- Yes... I really like him much... for a long time already...

Wait. What is he talking about? He likes whom? And how is it connected with a present for Konan?

But then Tobi understood. It was written on Itachi's face. So, Itachi is in love with their Leader-sama... The hell with Konan and her present, Tobi must help his younger relative first of all!

- Oh... As I thought,- he said, although he never noticed it, of course, but what else could he say in such situation?

- Now you know... So... Can you help me? I just... wanna know more about him,- Itachi looked at Tobi now and spoke very quietly.

- I think I can... Let's go to my room. It will take some time.

- Really? But... Oh... you see, I have one deal now. Nothing special, but I promised. I'll try to get back as soon as it's possible and find you then... ok?

- Ok, see you later then,- said Tobi and Itachi went away.

They both were so deep in their thoughts about the previous talk that Tobi forgot about Konan's present for some time and Itachi forgot to ask Sasori when exactly did he show the art to Pein. He just took the dick and went out of Deidara's room, telling he had no time to explain anything right now…

- Hey, what's going on?! Asked Deidara, looking indignantly at the closing door.- He just took it and went away!

- And what's of it?- Sasori didn't understand why did his princess got so angry.

- Whose side are you on?! It's MY dick, after all!

- Thanks to God, no…

-I mean, it's me who made it! Not Itachi, not Kakuzu, and not even Hidan… although it was his idea… but anyway! Why didn't he explain anything? I have the right to know!

- Is it so interesting for you?

- Of course it is! I must know what are they gonna do! I'll go to Kakuzu right now and ask him about everything.

- Go ahead. A dick is much more interesting than me, isn't it.

- Hey, what are you talking about? I didn't say this!

- But it was obvious.

- No, it wasn't! Are you going with me?

- No, thanks. I think I'd better go to my room.

- But why?- Deidara looked even scared now. He didn't want his Danna to leave him!

Sasori turned away. How to explain him… He won't understand for sure… It's useless… What to do now…

Suddenly he felt Deidara's hands on his shoulders and the warmth of Deidara's body when the blonde embraced him, whispering in Sasori's ear:

- Please… Don't get mad… Stay with me… please…

Sasori closed his eyes. He wanted to say "of course I will, I'll stay with you forever", but instead of it he just noticed:

- How can I stay with you if you're going to leave now…

The following answer made everything clear:

- But I'll be back really fast! Please… just wait for me here… or let's go together…

A kid. A silly blonde. He's too young to understand. Sasori sighed:

- If I wait for you here, what will I have in return? And please, don't even try to suggest one more Dick Art.

- And… what do you want?- asked Deidara quietly. His heart began to beat so fast that even Sasori felt it. He turned to his princess and looked at him:

- I'll tell you later. When you return.

- Oh!- Deidara couldn't help kissing Sasori in response. His Danna, he is so… so…

Sasori embraced him, returning the kiss, stroked blond hair pensively and then said:

- Go already. I'll wait.

- Do you promise?

- Yes, I do. And be quick.

Deidara smiled, half happily, half confused, and left the room…

…Hidan was alone, sitting on the bed and waiting for Kakuzu to return (he went to take some papers from Tobi) when the door opened and Deidara walked in.

- Hey, have you already lost your virginity?- this question made the bomber stop where he was standing and blush immediately:

- Wh-what are you talking about?- he just didn't know what else to say.

- Still no? Oh poor you are… Then what did Sasori do in your room all this time?

- Who told you about it?- Deidara forgot to close the door and now everybody could hear them.

- Itachi. So, what were you doing all this time? Playing fucking chess?

- N-no, we did something…- how to say it all… it really seems embarrassing – to speak about such things.

- Did what? Did you kiss him?

- Yes…

- Good! Did you undress him?

- N-not yet…

- Bad! What were you fucking waiting for?

- D-don't know… Just really don't know how to act the right way, you see…

Hidan sighed. How to explain such obvious things?..

…Kakuzu and Tobi went along the corridor. They needed to look through some papers which were in Kakuzu's and Hidan's room. Suddenly they heard:

- Just tell him "Sasori, I want you, let's fuck", and get undressed. Do what you want, fuck, it's really simple! Undress him too, touch him, you have 2 arms, mouth… no, some mouths, isn't it enough?

Tobi looked at Kakuzu. Of course, they both recognized Hidan's voice. But Kakuzu said nothing, just went faster.

- With your abilities, you can kiss him and blow him at the same time, isn't it fucking cool? He'll be hard for sure and then you'll just…

- Shut up.

Hidan turned, looking at the door, knowing already who's there, and even extremely confused Deidara noticed that the expression of the zealot's face had changed immediately. He wouldn't be able to say what exactly had changed, if somebody asked about it, but the reason of it was too obvious.

Kakuzu. He was standing at the door, looking at Hidan. And only now Deidara realized that the door was opened all this time and everybody heard everything. He became maroon… but… he couldn't even escape from here… oh…

- To shut up?- repeated Hidan.- No, if he shuts up in such moment, Sasori will never put it in!

Deidara wished somebody of them – he himself or Hidan – would die right now. Tobi tried not to laugh. And only Kakuzu and Hidan behaved as usual:

- I told you to shut up.

- Hey, Kakuzu, don't be so greedy in such things! I know, I'm a perfect treasure in bed, so, there won't be anything bad if I teach my friend some tricks!

Kakuzu's hand separated from his arm on tentacle threads and shut Hidan up. Hidan tried to escape from it, but Kakuzu caught him easily, grabbing him with one arm, and not letting speak with the other:

- Tobi, the papers are on the table. Deidara, what did you want?

- Oh,- the bomber finally remembered what actually brought him here,- I just wanted to know about my dick…

Tobi dropped the papers. What had he just said?! To know about WHAT?

- Didn't Itachi tell you?- Kakuzu sounded rather usual. What's going on?

- No, he just took it and went away.

Wha-a-at?! Itachi took Deidara's dick and went away?! How is it physically possible? What does it all mean?

- Hey,- tried to attract at least somebody's attention Tobi,- what are you talking about?!

Kakuzu turned to him and at that very moment Hidan bit his hand. Kakuzu pulled hand back, beat his sweetheart's head slightly, but didn't try to shut him up anymore.

- Oh! Finally!

- Just be silent,- said Kakuzu quietly.

- You know I can't, and never could,- replied Hidan, smiling happily.

The miser sighed… and shut the zealot up again. Telling the truth, it was just a reason to hold his lover close to himself… and even if it was too obvious for everybody, he didn't care…

- Can anybody here explain at least something?- shouted Tobi. Have all the Akatsuki members gone crazy at the same time?! At 1st – Itachi with his confession, now – Deidara with his dick…

- Explain what? It was your idea, after all,- Kakuzu shrugged his shoulders.

- My idea?! About what?

- To give Konan something she's never had.

- And… what? How is Deidara's dick connected with Konan?

- It's a gorgeous present, you dumbass,- grunted the bomber.

- WHA-A-AT? How is it physically possible? What's in your pants then instead of it?

Hidan began to laugh. Deidara – too. Even Kakuzu obviously smiled under his mask. Now they all finally understood…

- Oh… you know nothing…- tried to explain Deidara, still laughing.

- About what?

- You told these 2 idiots that Konan wanted something she had never had. So, Deidara made a dick from his clay – she has never had a dick herself, hasn't she – and now Itachi is bringing it to somebody who can give it to Konan as a Birthday surprise present,- Kakuzu told everything the shortest way.

- A dick… a present for Konan… oh…- Tobi really needed some time to put himself together.

- So, what did Pein say about the dick? Will Konan like it?- asked Deidara again, willing to know the destiny of his genious Art.

- Not sure about Konan, but Pein definitely liked it. He said, it would be a great decoration for her room, even if she wasn't able to use it directly. Didn't he say anything when Sasori showed the dick to him? I thought you've known it all already,- replied Kakuzu.

- Sasori-no-Danna… showed the dick to Pein? When?..- now Deidara couldn't understand anything.

- Don't know when, but Itachi said so.

- Yes, I heard the same! – remembered Tobi.- Pein told me he had already seen the present.

- But he didn't visit my room. And the dick was there all this time,- noticed Deidara.

- Enough mysteries for today. Let's just go and ask Sasori,- said Tobi, going to the door. All the rest followed him…

…Sasori didn't know what to do. Deidara promised to return soon, but… he'd been out for a rather long time already… What was he doing?.. Having fun?.. Forgot about Sasori at all?.. What to do when he finally returns? Sasori sighed. It all made him feel so sad and lonely again…

Suddenly the door opened, but instead of Deidara Tobi walked in. "What's he doing here?"- thought Sasori, going to ask this question aloud, not even thinking about the fact that the room where he was at the moment wasn't his own and Tobi could return the question.

Right after Tobi, Deidara ran into the room, looking at Sasori guilty and confused at the same time. The last ones were Hidan and Kakuzu. When they all stood at the door, Tobi finally asked:

- Hey, Sasori, when exactly did you show the dick to Pein?

Now Sasori's eyes became round. What had Tobi just said?

- I told him, it's impossible, Pein wasn't here at all,- Deidara crossed the room and sat on the bed near Sasori, who felt better immediately, as soon as his princess was back again:

- Ah… You mean _that very_ dick… But I didn't do it.

- Then why Pein told Itachi he had already seen the present, and it was you who showed it to him?

- I showed the present to Pein?.. Oh… Oh! He meant the harp, not the dick!

- The harp?! What the fucking harp are you talking about?- asked Hidan after some seconds of complete silence, expressing everybody's misunderstanding.

- Orochimaru sent the harp here… don't know what for, but for some bad purpose, of course. It was quite obvious for me. So I resent it to Sunagakure. They will be really happy to get it. And while I was instructing the Orochimaru's servant, Pein was passing by. He asked what it was, and I told it was a present…

- Now Pein is sure that we will give a harp to Konan. So, even if he saw the dick, he would never think it's from us,- said Kakuzu pensively. – I think, it's a suitable variant anyway. And it's free, after all.

- Any other questions?- Sasori looked at everybody, trying to let Tobi, Hidan and Kakuzu know that they must leave already.

- No… Not now…- replied Tobi and went to the door.- Good night…

…As soon as they all left, Deidara looked at Sasori, took his hand and said with a guilty voice:

- Now you see why it took me so long…

At this very moment Hidan shouted right from behind the door:

- Have fun, guys!

Deidara went all blushing and looked down. "Oh yeah,'- thought Sasori.- "We will… At least we'll try…"

…Naruto went through the forest, tired and angry. Why had he listened to Kakashi sensei?.. He must have gone crazy! To go to the forest and find there something, nobody knows what – is it a normal task?! Definitely not! There's nothing interesting in this place, nothing at all, he's just wasting time here, the time that he must spend on finding Sasuke!..

No. Enough. He's going to go home.

Naruto stopped near a tree to look at the map… and suddenly felt somebody's hands closing his eyes. "What the hell is going on!"- thought Naruto, but… these hands… the feeling… it was very familiar… and warm… and…

Naruto froze. He knew who it was. He knew it for sure. So, he just stood, waiting. The person was behind him, and rather close now. He could feel it clearly with all his body. Breath, tickling his ear and neck, the sound of heartbeats somewhere under a shoulder blade…

Did Kakashi sensei know who will Naruto find in this forest? The most stupid task turned out to be the sweetest one.

The person suddenly changed his position. Now only 1 hand was closing both Naruto's eyes, and the 2nd one embraced his waist, holding him tight.

"Hey, don't be afraid, I won't run away, I'm not like you,"- thought Naruto, almost smiling. He felt that the hand rose up from his waist to his face, stroking his cheek and lips, and tried to bite it slightly. In response, the person's teeth bit Naruto's ear.

- Sasuke…- whispered Naruto.

Now he was hugged even more tight, and the hand began to unzip his clothes. Naruto took Sasuke's hand, that one which was still closing his eyes, and began to stroke his fingers. Sasuke stopped his actions for a second, then put his arm under Naruto's clothes.

Oh, it feels so good… He's so tender today… And all his touches are so sweet…

Naruto was half-undressed now (how quickly, he thought), and Sasuke kissed his shoulders, with his arm stroking Naruto's chest, moving from one nipple to the other and squeezing them slightly from time to time.

- Oh… Sasuke… please… more…- moaned Naruto, trying not to fall. It all was just so pleasant…

Sasuke's arm went down. Naruto felt he's blushing. Of course, he's hard already, it was predictable after it all!

- Hey, I wanna… do something… too…- protested Naruto and turned to Sasuke finally.

Now he could see him. And kiss him. Embrace him, stroke his hair, hold him tight… Undress him and… and…

They had been kissing for some minutes already, but suddenly Sasuke stepped back, still holding Naruto's hand.

- Sasuke…- whispered Naruto.- Say something…

Sasuke looked at him, still being silent, then opened his mouth and said:

- Caw…

WHA-A-A-AT?!

- Caw… Caw!

Naruto jumped up on his bed. A dream?! It all was just a dream? Sasuke, their sudden date… all those sweet things… and…

- Caw.

Wait. It's not a dream anymore. Naruto looked at the opened window.

A crow? No… it's not just a crow for sure… He got out of bed, went closer… and the crow flew away. Trying to catch it, Naruto fell on the window-ledge, looked down to the street… and saw Itachi right under the window.

What's he doing here? At night, alone… Maybe Naruto was mistaken?

- Yo, Naruto,- he heard a familiar voice.

No. No mistakes. It's really Sasuke's brother.

- What do you want? Why are you here at all?- asked Naruto, still hanging on the window-ledge.

- I need your help,- replied Itachi.

- Right now? At night?- what if it's just a kind of a trap?

- You'll get some very important information in exchange.

- A very important information?.. Sounds good, but how can you prove it's not a trap?

The next second Itachi stood on the window-ledge, almost on Naruto, who wanted to shout at Sasuke's brother first, but then he noticed something…

- Hey, Itachi… what is it?

- What?

- This… object… you're holding… what's it?

- Ah… This is why I'm here. It's a present.

- For me? No, I don't want this kind of present, you know, it looks like a…

- Not for you. For another person.

- Oh, thanks to God! But then… what are you doing here?

Itachi jumped from the window-ledge to the room, put the dick on the table and looked at Naruto:

- I need your help to deliver it to one person.

- Why can't you do it yourself?

- You see… it's a kind of a secret present. She must not know who it is from.

Naruto went closer to the table, bent down to examine the strange thing and then asked:

- What is it?

- Don't you see, it's a dick. A sculpture of dick. Something a woman has never had.

- Do girls like this kind of presents?!

- Well, seems like yes. It can be a great decoration for the room… and it's unusual…

- And funny…- added Naruto.

- Yes, and funny too. Of course they like it.

- "He didn't lie, it's really a very important information! An unusual present which girls like for sure…"- thought Naruto and asked:

- So, where should I bring it?

- To Amegakure, it's a small village… I'll draw you a map. Give me a pencil and a paper.

While Itachi was drawing, Naruto took the dick from the table and asked:

- But who exactly is it for?

- For the only Akatsuki woman.

- Oh! And where did you get it?

- It's handmade. One of us made it from clay.

- Oh… I see… "one of us"- you mean Akatsuki?

- Yes.

Naruto was silent for some minutes, waiting for Itachi, drawing the map. Then suddenly he looked at Sasuke's brother with a rather strange expression on his face:

- Hey… Do you all Akatsuki guys have such big dicks?..

It was so unexpected that Itachi even stopped to draw for a second.

- Really so?- asked Naruto again.

- Doubt it,- said Itachi finally.- We're ordinary people, after all.

- Oh,- Naruto sighed, disappointed. – Then why is it so huge?

- Don't know, maybe to show how big our respect is…- Itachi shrugged his shoulders.- By the way, I'll give you some money, buy a cute packing for the present, please. Something romantic, ok? I just didn't have time on it.

- No problem!

- And one more thing… use your sexy jutsu while delivering the present. It will be safer for everybody this way. And don't forget – it's a secret present! The lady must not know who it is from.

Naruto nodded.

- Now look at the map…

…Of course Itachi didn't go to Konoha himself. He sent a clone. And now, sitting in his room at night, he forgot about it all completely. There was only one thing (actually, one person) in his head.

Leader-sama. Why Tobi noticed everything so easily? Was it really so obvious? Thanks to God, nobody else saw him talking to Pein. But… what if Leader-sama guessed, too? What if he guessed and told Tobi to check up? And what does he think now? What to do… how to calm down…

Itachi sighed and left the room. Cooking must help him to relax a bit. And… maybe Leader-sama will ask him for a bento tomorrow…

…Actually, Tobi wasn't going to go to the kitchen. Telling the truth, he must have been far from the Akatsuki base already, but with all these dick presents… and now he just saw the light turned on in the kitchen, so he went to check up, who's there. Although he was almost sure he knew the answer.

- Itachi? Can't fall asleep?

Itachi turned and Tobi noticed that his usually emotionless face looked rather upset… and maybe even helpless a bit.

- Ah? Oh, it's you… Yeah, kinda of…

Tobi walked in and sat on the chair:

- Wanna ask me about something?

- N-no…- replied Itachi quite unsure, then looked down and after some seconds of silence said: - Yes… May I?

- Of course you may. I think I have some time to talk to you.

- Thanks… I know how busy you are, and…

- So, what's your question?- interrupted Tobi.- Is it about Pein?

- Yes… How do you think, has he noticed something already?.. That I like him…

- Oh! No! No for sure. He's too busy with own problems, believe me. I don't mean you wasted his time, actually it seems to me that if you try to communicate with him, it can be useful for you both. All I meant is that he's… mmm… strange a bit… and maybe not an easy-going person… and he had a troublesome past…

- Really?- Itachi even stopped cooking. Now he looked at Tobi and didn't hide his interest to the topic anymore. – Do you know at least something about him?

- I do. And I think you must know it too… in such circumstances.

- If it's a secret information, I promise not to tell anybody!

- Well, actually it's not a secret, it's just… nobody is interested in it, you see…

"How can it be so…"- thought Itachi, but didn't say anything.

- So, listen…During the 2nd Shinobi war, there lived a boy. His name was Uzumaki Nagato…

…Naruto looked at the dick, which was still standing on his table, and thought. "Akatsuki… Adult experienced men… Cool shinobi…Shame on you all! A romantic present, huh! Just a dick in a cute packing! No, it's not romantic at all! Such hot presents can't be without something else… something very sweet… what any girl would like to get… something… something… Ah! That's it! A romantic letter! It is must-have for such things. The present won't be completed without it. And as far as Akatsuki forgot about it, he will write it himself.

But… he can't write romantic letters… He had never done it before… and he can't ask for anybody's help, just because it's a secret present! What to do? Think… Think…

Naruto looked at the clock. It's so late, it's a deep night… and what is he doing? He will be sleepy all day tomorrow for sure and Kakashi sensei… Wait. Kakashi sensei. He has got a lot of those very useless Ero Sannin's books. There's so much romantic stuff in them! He will just take one and copy something from there… It'll be perfect!

Naruto jumped out of his window and ran to Kakashi sensei's house. Running, he prayed Kakashi's window to be opened…

- So, now you know more about him,- said Tobi. Itachi kept silence.

- I guess, you have even more questions after it all… but sorry, not now. I really have to go. You can ask me tomorrow… and you have a whole night to think everything over.

- Only one question,- said Itachi quietly.

- Ok,- Tobi was going to go, but stopped at the door. – So, what's it?

- How do you think… Will he ask me to make more bento for him?

"Oh, Itachi, you're really unpredictable,"- thought Tobi and replied:

- Even if he doesn't say it to you personally, I'm sure you must continue doing it. Such things always help to show you care about somebody.

- Ah… I see. Thanks. And good night.

- Good night to you too, try to sleep at least a bit,- Tobi waved to Itachi and went away. Right behind the kitchen's door he used his Sharingan and entered the Kamui Land. Oh, he is so late tonight…

…At 1st, he heard a voice:

- Don't tell me you helped an old lady to cross the road. I won't believe anyway.

- Oh, all the decent old ladies have been sleeping already,- Obito smiled under the mask, feeling Kakashi's arms embracing him from behind. They stood like this for some minutes, trying to be as close to each other as it's physically possible. Then Kakashi took off the mask from Obito's face and whispered in lover's ear:

- I worried, you know…

Obito finally turned to Kakashi, still smiling, and said, taking off the sweetheart's mask and forehead protector – to look into both Kakashi's eyes instead of the only one:

- I'm really sorry… It was a crazy day… But… if you kiss me, I'll tell you everything!

- You could not have asked about it,- noticed Kakashi. He stroked Obito's cheek, then – his hair, looking at him tenderly. It was a kind of a habit from long ago – to touch his sweetheart all the time, just to be sure his precious good boy is still with him. Finally, he touched Obito's lips with own ones – for a second only, to hear Obito's breath stopping for a moment. Oh, his reaction is always so sweet, thought Kakashi, continuing the kiss, feeling Obito's arms getting under his clothes, stroking his back. Kakashi opened his eye – only 1, not to let Obito know he's watching him – and looked at his sweet good boy. It was a kind of a secret ritual they both knew about. Obito tried to say sometimes that it's embarrassing, but the expression of his face while kissing was so adorable that Kakashi just couldn't help keeping doing it – but with his own eye only.

"He must had a really hard day,"- thought Kakashi, feeling how insisting all Obito's actions are. Actually, he had already begun to undress Kakashi (at least, he tried for sure). So, Kakashi stopped the kiss for a second, just to ask:

- Hey… wanna do it?

The expression of Obito's face had changed so obviously that it seemed to Kakashi that his heart's gonna jump out of his chest. Oh, he's so exiting…

Obito took lover's hand and pulled it down instead of the answer, moaning quietly when Kakashi began to stroke his cock through the clothes. Ah… it feels so good…

Obito's fingers touched Kakashi's skin gently while he was undressing his sweetheart. Now Kakashi closed his eyes to concentrate on these touches, he could stay like this forever…

Undressing, Obito kept stroking Kakashi tenderly. In such moments – he knew it for sure – they both felt the same – that they belong to each other completely. After all these years, since the awakening of Obito's Sharingan and sharing it with Kakashi, it has become even stronger. It was so sudden then… and so obvious now… but really pleasant all the time.

So, now they were here, in their own place, which really belonged only to them both, kissing and hugging each other, looking into each other's eyes, whispering meaningless sweet stuff to each other, behaving like 2 idiots… and they felt completely happy.

Obito rubbed against Kakashi's chest with own cheek, then bit his nipple gently. Licked it, enjoying the reaction, and bit it once more. Kakashi breathed hard, stroking Obito's hair with one hand and his back – with the other. Obito tried to catch his breath, kissing him again, finally thinking about nothing else but the sweetheart.

Kakashi stroked his lover, slowly and tenderly, knowing perfectly that, in spite of being non-sensible to a lot of kinds of weapon and jutsu after that very almost deadly case in their past, when Madara rescued Obito and saved his life, his precious good boy is very sensible to any Kakashi's touch. They discovered this fact soon after their reunion, to their mutual pleasure, and nothing had changed since that time. Kakashi's hand went lower and lower, stroking his sweetheart everywhere. Then he began to kiss Obito's neck, chest, belly, getting lower, stroking Obito's hips and bending down so much that Obito could feel Kakashi's hot breath on his skin. Oh, he's really gonna lose his mind from all these actions… is it what Kakashi wants from him?..

Telling the truth, Kakashi himself was about to lose his mind completely. An opportunity to touch Obito, to do everything he wants to him had always driven him crazy. Now he stopped for a second and had a look at Obito. Oh, he's really too cute… Kakashi lay down close to his sweetheart, stroking Obito's lips with own finger tenderly. Obito kissed it, not opening his eye, and whispered quietly:

- Please… more…

Kakashi's heart leaped from these words, it really couldn't be helped… He pressed against Obito, holding him tight, kissing and stroking him at the same time. Lower… lower… oh… here it is…

Kakashi began to stroke Obito's cock, kissing his neck, licking his nipples, rubbing against his belly… He really forgot about anything but his sweet good boy, melting in his arms now…

Finally, Kakashi licked Obito's prick slowly, almost playfully. He repeated his actions again and again, listening to his lover's moaning and enjoying every second. Then he heard Obito's whisper:

- Kakashi… please…

Kakashi sat, bending down to his sweetheart and asked, stroking his hair:

- Want me to put it in?

Obito looked at him and smiled instead of an answer…

…Where could Kakashi sensei be so late… On a date or something? He'd like to know… but how to ask about such things? Just to say "I was in your flat at night to borrow one thing and you weren't there"? No… Even Naruto understood that it's too much. Although he must find the way to know… it's too interesting.

Holding the newest Ero Sannin's book, Naruto returned to his flat. Now all he's got to do is to copy something stupid and romantic from there… and to add this kind of a love-letter to the gorgeous dick. Then it will be a perfect present for sure!..

- By the way… you promised to tell me something,- said Kakashi. Now they just lay, embracing each other, Obito's head was on Kakashi's shoulder, so that he could feel the lover's breath on his chest.

- Yeah? About what?- asked Obito with a bit sleepy voice. Telling the truth, he never wanted to return to reality after their sweet sex.

- Mmm… Something about your crazy day and an old lady whom you didn't help to cross the road…

- An old lady?- repeated Obito pensively. – Yeah, she's really an old lady… to some extend…

- Who's "she"?

- Ah? Oh, Konan, who else…

- Is Konan so old?

- 38 or 39… Enough for a person to get what he… or she… never had.

- Never had? Hey, I don't understand you at all…

- You know, sometimes even I don't understand myself. Hidan and Deidara asked me what to give Konan on her Birthday. I just told them that it could be something he'd never had. You can't even imagine what kind of a sweet present she's gonna get soon!..

…Itachi stood by the window. It had been early morning already and, of course, he didn't sleep all night. He just couldn't, after all he heard from Tobi..

Uzumaki Nagato… A poor little orphan from Amegakure… All alone, with nobody by his side…Actually, neither Konan, nor Yahiko really cared about him, it was so obviously clear… A boy with such a huge power, he was still so helpless, and needed a protection much more than anyone else in this world…

Itachi sighed. It hurt almost physically from everything he felt right now. Oh, if only he could be there… He would never leave Nagato, they'd always be together… he would teach him everything, praising even his smallest progress, telling him he's the best, the cleverest and the most talented… He'd cook for him and he'd feel happy watching Nagato eating the food which was cooked only for him… with love… He'd spend all the free time together, talking about different things or just sitting close to each other and doing nothing… He'd sleep with Nagato if the poor orphan had nightmares about the 2nd Shinobi war times, whispering in his ear that it's just a nightmare, and now everything is all right, as long as they're together, he'd hold him tight and… and… oh…

What the hell is he thinking about?! How is it possible at all – to fall in love with an almost unknown person? Itachi really didn't understand what's happening to him… Even the slightest thought of Nagato made him feel so… so… Oh, his poor little boy…

Wait. But… how old is his little orphan now?

- Hey, what are you still laughing at?

It was almost morning and they had to sleep at least a bit, but instead of this they just lay, still naked, embracing each other, kissing… and Kakashi began to laugh from time to time.

- You Akatsuki are great guys after all,- replied he, looking at Obito and smiling. – I would never have such a brilliant idea! You really impressed me, you know…

- Obito looked at his sweetheart with a strange expression on his face and said quietly:

- Now you're saying Akatsuki are great guys… but if you meet one of us somewhere on a mission, what will you do?..

- Kakashi sighed, keeping silence.

- I know… you'll try to kill them… because they're so-called "criminals"… I know it for sure…

- Hey, you see, it's life… and it's cruel sometimes…- Kakashi hugged Obito, holding him tight, and stroked his hair. Telling the truth, he didn't like to talk about it… but he had to… from time to time.

- That's why I wanna change it! Just change everything unfair, everything that hurts… I really wanna control the situation… Oh. I know, you don't understand…

- You're still a good boy…- Kakashi kissed Obito's forehead. He didn't know what else to say.

- What's bad in being good,- grunted Obito, looking at Kakashi just like long time ago, in their youth, when they used to quarrel a hundred times a day. If Kakashi only knew what had this look meant… everything could have begun much earlier…

- Nothing bad. But… you're _my_ good boy after all. That's why I really worry about you.

- Oh…- Obito looked down. Then – at Kakashi. Took his arm and rubbed against it with own cheek. Kissed him tenderly. – Everything's ok, as long as we're together…

Kakashi returned the kiss, trying not to think about one thing he always thought about when they had such talks. Then, in the past, he didn't tell Obito that right after they had to leave him dying under the rocks, Rin tried to confess to him. What would his sweet boy do if he knew it?..

…The simple counting showed ruthlessly that a poor little orphan is now almost twice older than Itachi. What a shocking discovery…

Sitting on the window-ledge, Itachi was really going to bang his head against the wall… just because it was too unexpected. Moreover, he couldn't forget Tobi's words, which he said right before leaving the kitchen: "You know, I think you have great chances to become a couple… You are Uchiha, and Nagato is Uzumaki… Remember your brother? He did the same choice…"

Suddenly he noticed something familiar near the Akatsuki base enter. His heart leaped and almost stopped then. It's Pein. One of Nagato's… how to call them… paths… What was he doing here at this time? He obviously wasn't in a hurry, Itachi'd rather say that Pein's actions were slowly and even unsure maybe… It all showed clearly that he hadn't got any urgent news or something like this. Then… why he was here?..

The 1st Itachi's wish was to run out of his room towards Pein, but… what's he gonna tell him? "You know, I didn't sleep all night, I thought about you and how did you like my bento"? Nonsense. Itachi stopped near the door, feeling himself awful. What to do, what to do… Standing like this for some minutes, waiting for nothing, Itachi suddenly heard the sound of steps in the corridor. He froze. Who can it be so early? Everybody's sleeping now, only he… and Pein… is it possible?..

The sound of steps became closer, closer… Itachi could bet the person was near his room now…

And suddenly it stopped. Nothing was heard for a couple of minutes. Itachi nearly died during this time. Who was it? If Pein, then why did he stop? What did he want? And what should Itachi do?

If he only knew that right behind the door Nagato was thinking about almost the same…

…Telling the truth, Nagato liked Itachi much from the very beginning. He was clever, talented and could do a lot of useful things. But… the main reason of liking him a lot was not so clear… Nagato just felt something… a kind of a hidden pain which Itachi couldn't share with anybody. It was so obvious for Nagato (he really didn't know why) that he had begun to think, what kind of pain could it be, what was wrong in this boy's past, was it possible to help him… After a year of such thoughts Nagato understood that he's in love completely.

But… no… it's hopeless… Even Yahiko, who knew Nagato for so long, didn't like him at all… although he watched his abilities every day and could at least find him useful.

And Itachi… All he knew about Nagato was his Pein paths. He didn't even see Nagato himself – and thanks to God he didn't, thought Nagato, usually looking at Itachi through any of his paths, hoping this boy will not notice anything.

But yesterday… Their talk… and bento… the most unexpected thing from all… Even if

there was nothing special in it for Itachi, even if he thought of Nagato only as a Leader-sama… anyway, it meant this boy cared about him somehow…

All the time that took Deva Pein to walk to the Akatsuki base, Nagato thought he should say thanks to Itachi as soon as it's possible… to show he appreciates his concern much… and now, right behind Itachi's door, Nagato suddenly realized that it's too early in the morning… Itachi must have been sleeping for sure… So… maybe it'd be better for him to get out of here…

Nagato sighed and Deva Pein walked away from the door slowly. Oh, he's such a damn loser, he thought, while Pein was turning the corner.

Suddenly he heard a sound of the opening door. "Can it be…"- Nagato couldn't believe it, leaving Pein standing in the corridor.

The sound of steps. Really, can it be?..

- Leader-sama!

Oh. It's really him… But… why… he must have been sleeping, right? And… what is Nagato supposed to say now… "It wasn't me a moment ago behind your door"?

- Leader-sama! – now Itachi stood right before Pein, looking at him, and trying to see Nagato behind his Pein path.

- Itachi? What are you doing here, at such time… Everybody's been sleeping yet…

"I could ask you the same question… what were you doing behind my door so early in the morning,"- thought Itachi, but instead of this he asked:

- Did you… Did you like the bento?..

The question was so unexpected that Nagato just replied without thinking:

- Yeah… Thanks a lot, it was so tasty, I've never eaten such a tasty bento before…

- Oh… really?..- Itachi didn't know what else to say. He felt he was blushing, looked down and said quietly, almost whispering:

- I can cook bento for you every day… If you don't mind…

Pein tried to smile at Itachi. The eyes, which, as Itachi had already known, were same as Nagato's eyes, looked at him and Itachi couldn't help looking right into these eyes – not Pein's, but Nagato's. They kept silence for a minute, and then Nagato said:

- Of course I don't mind. I'd appreciate it really much… But only if it doesn't take all your free time. By the way, about time… why aren't you sleeping so early in the morning? Do you have urgent deals?

- Oh… I… No… I… mmm… Don't know, just couldn't fall asleep…- replied Itachi and thought: "Because of you, you know."

- Couldn't fall asleep…- repeated Nagato,- oh, it's not good… everybody should sleep at night… you won't feel food if you don't sleep…- how else can he show this boy he cares about him, thought Nagato and added: - You should return to your room and try to sleep. It will be right…

- But… bento…

- Look, I'm not going to go anywhere during the next some hours. I'll be in my room… and wait for you there…

"Hey, don't you understand how it sounds!"- Itachi tried not to blush more. What is he supposed to say now? "My room is closer, you can wait for me there"?

Seemed like his poor little boy is really a little boy, not an adult Leader-sama, as everybody thinks of him… 

…Some days went by, and almost the same early morning Kuro and Shiro Zetsu returned to the Akatsuki base from their spy mission not far from Amegakure. Shiro Zetsu was holding Kuro Zetsu's hand, thinking that they could spend a couple of sweet hours together while everybody's sleeping, and Kuro Zetsu was holding something in a cute packing, thinking he had found a special dessert to eat.

It was the 21st of February, the day after Konan's Birthday.

As soon as they reached their room, Kuro Zetsu put the object in a cute packing on the table and began to unwrap it. Shiro Zetsu, of course, thought about another kind of dessert, but, telling the truth, it was interesting for him too, what had his sweet little boy found. It didn't look ordinary, after all.

As far as they had missed all the fun with a present for Konan, they couldn't know what and for whom exactly it was for, but… it was so…

- A dick?- asked Shiro Zetsu a bit confused. – A sculpture of dick?

- Seems so,- said Kuro Zetsu pensively.- How do you think, can this thing be tasty?

- Hey… eat me up instead of this…- Shiro Zetsu embraced his lover, looking at him playfully, stroking Kuro Zetsu's cheek and biting his lower lip instead of a kiss. – I'll be a really sweet dessert…

Kuro Zetsu looked down, letting his sweetheart lead himself to the bed, then – lie himself down… If his Shiro part wants to do it, then he wants it too…

Being so close now, holding hands, kissing and stroking each other tenderly, they both forgot completely about the strange thing on the table. Kuro Zetsu's head had been spinning already from the sweet touches of his lover, his skin seemed to be burning under Shiro Zetsu's arms and lips, just like always… oh, yeah… this kind of dessert is the best for sure… the sweetest and the tastiest one…

BANG!

The sound was so loud and unexpected that the couple on the bed jumped up, looking at the remains of the table and the hole instead of the door.

- What was it?- asked Shiro Zetsu, slightly shocked.

- My dessert,- replied Kuro Zetsu, looking helplessly at his lover.

Rushing into the room in that very moment Kakuzu found both Zetsu still lying in the bed, but, telling the truth, he wasn't surprised at all. Actually, the reason of the explosion was much more interesting to him. The treasurer looked at them and asked, repeating the Shiro Zetsu's question:

- What was that?

- We'd like to know it too,- began Shiro Zetsu, still lying on his lover.- We found this… mmm… thing near Amegakure… it seemed to be thrown away…

Itachi, Sasori and Deidara, who ran right after Kakuzu, were examining the room now, trying to find at least something, caused the explosion. Suddenly Deidara picked something small up from the floor, looked at it and said:

- Hey…

Everybody but Kuro Zetsu turned to him. In the silence of the room 2 voices spoke up at the same time:

- It was my dessert…- said Kuro Zetsu.

- It was my dick…- said Deidara.

Shiro Zetsu, who didn't know about a gorgeous present for Konan, asked, being much more shocked than before:

- You mean… he wanted to eat… your… dick?! – what happened here when they were on a mission? What are they talking about? Has everyone gone crazy?..

- Ah? No! Not that very dick!- Deidara waved.- A sculpture of dick. I and Hidan… By the way, Kakuzu, where's Hidan?

- Still putting his pants on, I think. If we stay here for an hour or more, maybe he will…

- I'm fucking here already,- Hidan entered the room, interrupting Kakuzu. – What the fuck was that?

- My dessert…

- My dick!

Again at the same time.

- Wha-a-at?- Hidan's eyes became round. Kakuzu prepared to shut his sweetheart up, but in that very moment Deidara continued:

- It's exploded! But why here? It must have happened in Konan's house in Amegakuro…

- Hey, dude, you didn't tell me it would explode!

- Of course it would! What did I make it from my special clay for?

- Oh, it's fucking great, it's even more fucking great than I thought it was!

- Yes, but why it has happened here?

During this talk, Kakuzu explained to both Zetsu quietly what was a sculpture of dick for, and Itachi examined the packing of the poor Art. Yeah, Naruto had bought a rather cute one, but… what's this? Itachi took a folded sheet of paper, which had just fallen out of the packing. Naruto, was it your work? What's there?

He unfolded the paper and began to read. A love-letter?..

- Hey, what's that?- asked Kakuzu. – Where did you find it?

- Oh, seems like the person who I asked to bring the present, added something from himself,- replied Itachi.- Don't know what for, telling the truth… but it looks like a love-letter. Just listen:

"My dearest lady!

I write to you on the happiest of all the days on this sinful Earth, on your Birthday. Since that very moment when I saw you the 1st time, my angel, there haven't been a single day without sensual thoughts about you. Oh, these thoughts, they don't leave me, neither in a daytime, nor at night, making me lose my mind!

Your eyes are more beautiful than the first star in the evening sky, they shine on your face like diamonds, your hair is like sea waves, bringing some cold in a hot summer day; your smile is a long-awaited dawn after a dark night, so fresh and pink. Your laughter sounds like music for my ears and your graceful movements are amazingly perfect. I am defeated, the heat of my heart has been burning my soul, and my body is longing for you.

Begging you, please, take this modest gift, hard as a rock and hot as a primordial desire. I made it at night, from my own nature, when I was thinking about you… and about us.

Please, don't consider this as a joke, it's the most serious thing in the world for me."

Oh… He finally finished reading… Itachi wiped out his eyes, full of tears from laughter. He couldn't even count, how many times he interrupted reading this awesome love-letter because he physically wasn't able to say a word, laughing so much that now his belly was aching. All the rest felt the same.

- I don't know who you asked to bring a present to Konan, but this person is a genious for sure!- said Deidara, having hiccups from laughter.- By the way, who's he?

- It's my younger brother's boyfriend,- replied Itachi. – So, what are we gonna do with this letter?

- Please, just don't throw it away! It really deserves to be saved! We must show it to others!- suggested Shiro Zetsu.

- To anybody but Pein,- corrected Kakuzu. – Although, I must say, Itachi's brother's boyfriend has saved our asses for sure.

- What do you mean?- asked Itachi.

- Konan threw the dick away. It means, she didn't like the present.

- Fucking stupid bitch!- Hidan interrupted Kakuzu, expressing all the Akatsuki males' opinion about Konan.

- But she must have read the love-letter,- continued the miser.- And it's written from one person, not from a group of people. So, I suppose now she thinks she's got a secret admirer… and I doubt she thinks it's somebody from Akatsuki. Even if she tells something to Pein, it won't be connected with us.

- She won't tell him. They're not in that kind of relationship,- said Itachi, now seriously.

- Oh, really?- Kakuzu looked at him attentively.- Seems like you know what you're talking about… Ok. If you don't have any more questions…

- What fucking questions can be in such time?- Hidan yawned.- I wanna sleep, let's go already…

- It's really too early now,- Itachi agreed with the Jashinist, thinking about a morning bento for Nagato. He must send somebody of his Pein paths to get it soon…

…"Oh… It's really not good…"- thought Nagato, leading his Deva Pein to the Akatsuki base. During all this time, since his and Itachi's "bento game" began, Nagato had thought every morning that he must stop doing like this, he must at least find another time, it's not suitable at all, too early and so on… But every next early morning he ended up sending his Deva Pein for a bento again. It just couldn't be helped, he needed to see Itachi so much… Oh, if only they could meet normally… But… no way… Itachi will be scared or even disgusted for sure. There's such a big difference in age between them… and Nagato knew he didn't look good… oh… why everything is so… All he wanted is just to say "thank you" personally, just to touch Itachi's hand when he gives a bento to him, just…

Nagato sighed. Well, at least he can look at Itachi using his Pein paths… better than nothing, after all…

…Looking at the window and waiting for Pein to arrive, Itachi felt rather nervous. More nervous than usually. Yesterday he put a note, a blank paper and a pencil into the bento. Actually, there wasn't anything special written in it, he just asked, maybe Leader-sama wants something special to add to his usual bento… but now, thinking if he gets a reply or not, and what could be in it, Itachi almost went crazy. Finally, he noticed a familiar figure, going to the Akatsuki base enter. Oh, he will be here soon… What will he say or bring?..

Itachi's heart began to beat twice faster when he heard the sound of steps in the corridor. He opened the door and Pein walked in.

- Ohayo…- said Itachi quietly, looking into Nagato's eyes.

- Ohayo…- replied Nagato,- why aren't you sleeping… again?

"Because I wanna sleep with you only,"- thought Itachi, trying not to blush. Although today he really had a reason:

- Well… Nobody has slept this morning… It was too loud here to sleep, you know…

- Too loud?- repeated Nagato.- Why?..

- Because Konan didn't like her present.

"What did she do?.. Did she run here at night and tried to kill somebody with the harp? Did she yell and shout, or crush the furniture… she did what?"

While Pein was keeping silence, Itachi was just watching him and enjoying the changing expression of Nagato's eyes. It was the 1st time when he could see any emotions shown from their icy cold Leader-sama. And, he must say, it looked cute!

Finally, Nagato managed to ask:

- What… what has she done?

- She? Oh, nothing special herself, just threw the present away. Zetsu found it, brought here and… well, it exploded about an hour ago.

"The harp exploded?! What did she do with it?"- thought Nagato, being sure that any kind of connection with women won't bring anything good.

- It was really loud,- continued Itachi,- but everything's all right now.

- Oh… women…- said Nagato finally.- I will never understand them. I was sure she'd like the present.

- We all were quite sure, you know… But seems like only men can find such kind of presents cute.

- Maybe it's because she couldn't use it…

"How the hell could she use it, I wonder!"- thought Itachi almost laughing, and Nagato continued:

- But she could learn to do it, by the way… Doubt it's harder than to learn different jutsu… Hey, why are you laughing?

- Had he said something wrong, thought Nagato, almost scared. But Itachi's reply calmed him down a bit, although it sounded quite unexpected:

- Oh, you're so funny sometimes, really… How is she expected to learn to use such thing? Who will teach her, after all?.. Oh…- he kept laughing.

- But… what's wrong?.. You think she's too old for this?..

Itachi couldn't reply for a minute, almost crying from laughter. Oh, Nagato's sense of humour is really adorable! Seems like all Uzumaki have the same, he thought, remembering a love-letter by Naruto.

Finally, he put himself together and said:

- It's just too big for her… isn't it…

- Doubt she'll rip the strings…

Itachi made a strange sound. Now he laughed twice more, almost falling on Pein. Konan wears strings, how cuuute… He must tell everybody about it… oh…

"Is Konan, jumping around a huge harp, seems so funny to you?.."- thought Nagato. He enjoyed seeing Itachi laughing, but he didn't quite understand the reason…

Suddenly, somebody knocked the door. Nagato looked at Itachi, almost in panic. What if somebody sees them together? What will they think? Nagato himself didn't really care, but Itachi… what if it's important for him…

- Who's there?- Itachi's voice interrupted Nagato's thoughts.

- It's Zetsu! Is Leader-sama here?

Itachi looked at Pein, trying to guess what is Nagato thinking about. It wasn't a difficult task, because anxiety was seen in his Rinnengan eyes too clearly. So many emotions in one morning… Itachi couldn't help smiling. He wanted to say so much… so much sweet meaningless stuff… but he really didn't know how… So he just smiled, and he hoped Nagato would feel better from his smile.

- Hey! Itachi! – it's Zetsu again.

Oh. Itachi opened the door:

- Yes, how did you get to know?

- I'm a spy, after all.

- Ok, and what did you want?

- Just wanted to ask… about the door… it's damaged really much…

- It's from the explosion I told you about,- Itachi looked at Pein, who now, in the third person's presence, looked like a usual Leader-sama, emotionless and cold.

- Oh, I see… So, what's with the door?

- It's not a door anymore, you know… You must have a look at it…

Nagato didn't really want to look at the Konan's present's explosion consequences… but what could he do… He couldn't afford just saying "No, I'll stay here because I want to and I don't care about the door at all"… So, he sighed and said:

- Ok… I'll look… if it's fast…

As soon as Zetsu left the room, Pein turned to Itachi:

- Oh… here… it's for you…

Thanks to God, his Paths can't blush, thought Nagato.

Itachi took a small folded piece of paper with almost shaking hands. Is it really what he thinks it is?

Pein looked down, then said:

- See you…- and went away. Itachi knew that he will go to the Leader's room and will wait for the bento there. He did the same every morning.

So, the note… Is it really from Nagato? What can be written there? Itachi unfolded the note. Read it. Then re-read it. It was really short , but totally unclear. "Something sweet maybe…"- was written there. Hey, Leader-sama, is it about food at all?.

…In the evening of the same day Tsunade called for Kakashi to talk to him about something very important. Naruto didn't know what exactly they were going to talk about, but he knew for sure it's a good chance for him to return the book to Kakashi. Walking to the sensei's house and looking at the window, which was opened again, Naruto thought how lucky he was tonight. But he didn't know who exactly had opened this window.

Of course it was Tobi. He was waiting for Kakashi for about an hour already. Moreover, he felt Naruto's chakra and hid in a wardrobe to look from there what will be next.

Naruto jumped on the windiw-ledge, then stepped into the dark room… and the 1st thing he saw was an Akatsuki cloak. Obito, who had taken his mask to the wardrobe with him, forgot about his cloak completely.

Naruto went to the cloak slowly, looking around, as if he thought somebody of Akatsuki would jump from under the bed on him, or something like this. Then he touched the cloak's sleeve carefully, trying to be sure it's not a kind of a trap. During the next some minutes nothing was happening. Finally, Naruto took the cloak… and put it on.

Obito in the wardrobe nearly died trying not to laugh, watching Naruto, who made as serious and scary face as he could, wrapped in the cloak, and was looking at the mirror now. Oh, if only Sasuke could see him, thought Naruto. It's really interesting, how would he like him more: in an Akatsuki or Hokage outfit?..

Suddenly he heard the sound of footsteps near the door. Oh, it must be Kakashi sensei… Naruto jumped out of the cloak, threw it on the bed, ran to the window, then remembered about the purpose of his visit, took the book from his pocket and put it under the wardrobe where Obito was hiding. Then he left the room quickly.

Obito couldn't see what exactly Naruto did near the wardrobe, so, the 1st thing he did when he finally got out of there was to check it up.

Oh, it's just a book, one of those Jiraya's novels… yeah, even Akatsuki read them from time to time… so Naruto finds them interesting too? Why didn't he ask Kakashi or Jiraya to give one to him? Why did he take it secretly, thought Obito, going to the corridor to meet Kakashi, who had already opened the door.

"Oh, it feels so good – to return home when you know that somebody's waiting for you there,"- he thought, noticing his sweetheart's figure in the dark room.

- Well… today is my turn to ask about an old lady… isn't it?- said Obito, smiling.

- If Tsunade only knew how you have just called her, she'd beat you deadly…- replied Kakashi, closing the door and turning on the light. – Oh, take this please… - and he held a bag out to Obito.

- What's this?- asked his sweetheart, looking into the bag.

- I've bought something to eat for us.

- Oh! Me too!- smiled Obito. – How cute…- he embraced Kakashi, took off his mask and kissed him tenderly.

Kakashi stroked lover's hair, returning the kiss. Then asked:

- Are you hungry?

- Yeah… in many ways,- whispered Obito, rubbing against the taller man's cheek. – How is it said? What would you like first: dinner or… maybe… me?..

- Oh… Stop it…- laughed Kakashi.- Where have you taken this phrase from… Didn't know you like this kind of books…

- Who? Me? No, I just heard it somewhere,- waved Obito on his way to the kitchen.- By the way, about books. Why didn't you give Naruto one of those Jiraya's love stories? Poor boy had to take the book secretly… He returned it a couple of minutes ago, it's on your desk now.

Kakashi said nothing, just went to the room – to have a look, was it that very book he lost a couple of days ago, or not.

- Oh, can you imagine, Naruto tried my Akatsuki cloak!- heard Kakashi Obito's voice from the kitchen.

- Wha-a-at? When?- he forgot about the book for a second.

- Well, he appeared so suddenly, I had time almost on nothing, just to hide in the wardrobe and to take my mask with me… I forgot about the cloak, sorry…- Obito walked into the room, looking guilty at Kakashi.

- Ah, that's it… At first I thought you met him here…

- No, he met my cloak only. Is this too bad?

- I don't think so,- Kakashi finally turned to the desk, taking the book from there. Yes, it was that very lost one. He opened it and looked through automatically, without any purpose.

Obito went closer, embracing Kakashi from behind and whispering in his ear:

- Now you'll have to lie to the poor boy because of me… Maybe something about your secret mission as an Akatsuki leader's spouse… or is it too… Wait! – the last word Obito shouted right into Kakashi's ear. Kakashi nearly jumped and turned to him:

- Hey, what…

- This book! This is where Naruto took the love-letter from! Oh! – Obito looked a bit strange.

- The love-letter?- asked Kakashi.

- Yeah… I'll tell you later… if you do me now…

Kakashi looked into Obito's eye, holding him tight, and kissed his sweetheart tenderly. How could he refuse…

…Naruto went home, being almost proud of himself. The important mission was complete, everything was done perfectly… And – which is the most cool – now he knows what to give to Sakura on her next Birthday!


End file.
